Sunday, November 4, 2012

Picking and Choosing

Then Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “The word of the Lord that you have spoken is good.” For he thought, “There will be peace and security in my days.”-Isaiah 39:8

About that time Herod the king laid violent hands on some who belonged to the church. He killed James the brother of John with the sword, and when he saw that it pleased the Jews, he proceeded to arrest Peter also. This was during the days of Unleavened Bread. And when he had seized him, he put him in prison, delivering him over to four squads of soldiers to guard him, intending after the Passover to bring him out to the people. So Peter was kept in prison, but earnest prayer for him was made to God by the church.-Acts 12:1-5


Hey everyone! It's been a while since I have written on here. College homework has made me very busy. I wanted to write this blog post because God has been teaching me about it throughout this semester, and it has helped me to be healed of my anxiety.

A few months ago, over the summer, I had a very difficult time relaxing.  I had severe acid reflux, which definitely did not calm my fear of throwing up.  Throughout the summer, God asked me if I really trusted Him.  If I really trusted Him, why did I still struggle with anxiety? To what degree did I trust God?  If I sing "I will follow you wherever you go" during the worship service at church, but refuse to eat food because I might get sick, how deep is my trust?

Today in church, we talked about Acts 12.  Within the same passage, two of Jesus' best friends on Earth each had completely different fates.  James, Jesus' own brother, died, while Peter was put in prison.  Those who are familiar with the passage know that Peter was later miraculously released from prison.  Why was Peter spared, but not James?  I wonder if James knew that he was going to die the way that he did.  I wonder what he would say if he knew that Peter was able to live, but he had to die before the Church even began to go global. 

God calls us to do His work, but He does not give us an exact detailed plan of what He has for us to do in the future.  He gives you a task, but He does not always explain why or how He wants you to accomplish it. It's possible that you may not even see the fruits of your obedience to God in this lifetime.  When you say "Where you go, I'll go...I will follow you," what are you really saying?

To be honest, for a long time, I only trusted God when I saw that He was doing good things for me.  I only believed that God was the healer when I did not feel sick.  I only believed that God could save me when I was safe and sound in my house.  I only believed that God would never leave me when I was surrounded by friends.  However, when I felt sick, I abandoned God and found other ways to cope with my illness.  When I was placed out of my comfort zone, I complained and wondered where God was.  When my friends left me, I cried because I felt alone.  I would pray: "God, I give you control of my life.  No matter what happens, I will trust you." But when things got difficult, God was the first thing I abandoned.

In the book of Isaiah, Hezekiah offers great evidence of trust in the Lord.  Isaiah prophesied over Hezekiah, the king of Israel during this time.  He said that there would be a time when all of his possessions, and some of his family members, would be taken into Babylon.  Babylon was an enemy to Israel when Hezekiah was king.  Throughout the Old Testament, God promises to bring prosperity and success to the Israelites; He promises to deliver the Israelites from their enemies.  Hezekiah had been faithful to God all of his life, and he had seen God's miracles while serving as king.  As a matter of fact, in Isaiah 38, God added fifteen years to Hezekiah's life because of his faithfulness to the Lord.  

When Isaiah prophesied destruction over Hezekiah, I could only imagine what is going through Hezekiah's head.  Hezekiah had served God his entire life.  He deserved a happy ending.  In response to this prophecy, Hezekiah said to Isaiah: "The word of the LORD that you have spoken is good."  Instead of complaining that God was unjust, Hezekiah accepted this message.  "For he thought, 'There will be peace and security in my days'" (v. 9).  Hezekiah had seen the miracles of God throughout his life.  He knew that God had the ability to save Israel.  However, instead of wondering why God was allowing the Babylonians to take over Israel, Hezekiah trusted that, one day, there will be peace and security again.

What happens to you when you are removed from your comfort zone?  Do you abandon God, or do you trust that God will not let you see decay?  It is dangerous to pray "I will follow you wherever you go" and not mean it.  When you say that you love God, you are saying that you love everything about God, even the things that you do not understand.  When you say that you will trust God, you are saying that you will trust God even if His plan does not make sense at the time.  Do not just trust God when things look good.  Be like Hezekiah, and trust that God will provide peace and security even through the difficult times.

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Don't Hold On Too Tight!

Let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, with our hearts sprinkled clean from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water.  Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful.-Hebrews 10:22-23, ESV

"I have spoken these things to you while I remain with you. But the Counselor, the Holy Spirit—the Father will send Him in My name—will teach you all things and remind you of everything I have told you. “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Your heart must not be troubled or fearful. You have heard Me tell you, ‘I am going away and I am coming to you.’ If you loved Me, you would have rejoiced that I am going to the Father, because the Father is greater than I. I have told you now before it happens so that when it does happen you may believe.- John 14:25-29, HCSB



I remember going on my first missions trip and having to climb a rock wall.  I looked up at that wall, scared of heights, knowing I had to overcome my fear in order to grow.  I climbed up, never looking down except if my foot slipped.  A strong but small rope was holding me up.  Although I could not see her from where I was, a camp employee was holding the rope in case I fell.  I climbed all the way to the top.  Feeling accomplished, I scanned the area that the 30-foot altitude allowed me to see.  I could hear my team cheering me on, congratulating me on completing this difficult task.  The camp employee called up to me: "Good job, Elisabeth!  Now I need you to lean back and let go of the wall, and I'll bring you down."  Let go? I remember feeling a rush of anxiety at that moment.  After facing my fear of climbing a great height, I realized that my greatest fear wasn't being in high places; my greatest fear was falling.  Now, in order to get down, I had to trust a thin rope and a woman I had just met a few minutes prior.  I clung tight to that rope, not wanting to budge.  My team started encouraging me again.  I could here them telling me that it was almost over, that I could handle this.  I closed my eyes, sat back, and put my life in the hands of another person.  I remember feeling like a weight was lifted off of me.  I didn't have control, but it felt great.  Suddenly, my safety was not in my own hands.  I did not need to defend myself or protect myself.  Someone who knew about climbing better than I did was taking care of me.  Because of that, I felt safe, and I relaxed.

In my walk with God, I have noticed that God calls me to let go of my comfortable life in exchange for a life led by Him.  There have been numerous things in my life that I have been struggling to give up to Him.   Throughout this summer, God has been telling me to let go of several things, and I did.  After I did, God showed me that, with those things in my life, I would have never grown into the person that He is calling me to be.  Knowing that God was in control gave me a sense of peace and security.  


While Jesus was on Earth, He promised His disciples that He was leaving them.  Knowing that Jesus was their Lord and teacher, the disciples probably were upset, confused, and anxious about Jesus' departure.  However, Jesus comforted them by telling them about the Holy Spirit.  In the Gospel of John, Jesus says that, if He does not leave them, the Holy Spirit cannot come on Earth.  As we read in Acts, the apostles could not do the mighty miracles they did without the work of the Holy Spirit.  If the disciples had held on to Jesus and not let Him die the death that He did, they would not be a part of the great plan that God had for the world. They would not grow as mature Christians without the help of the Holy Spirit working inside of them.


There are so many relationships that I had to let go of because God had something else planned for me.  Before I went home from my school, I had to say goodbye to my friends at school.  It was so hard to part from them, despite the fact that our separation was temporary.  My friends lived miles away, in other states that I could not visit simply by leaving my dorm room and walking a few steps.  That semester, we had seen each other every single day for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and time spent doing homework.  As soon as I got home, God began to work in my life and in my friends' lives.  We were healed of anxiety, fear, and the like.  Our school helps us a lot with those struggles, but God knew that we needed a break from the school in order to grow.  God knew the best way to heal all of us, and if we had held on to each other, we would have never experienced the growth that we did over the summer.

Over the summer, I felt God calling me to break up with my boyfriend.  I loved him so much, I did not want to surrender him.  At that time, I was having serious anxiety.  My stomach would go into knots everyday, and I had trouble eating.  He was having trouble finding a job.  After we prayed and then broke up, my anxiety instantly got better, and he got a call that he could start working at a job.  God knew that it was best for me to be single for the summer, and if I had held on to my boyfriend, we both would not have experienced the growth that we did over the summer.

Coming back to school, I had to say goodbye to my family and my friends.  The friends that I adopted as family this summer were about to become distant friends that all had busy lives.  I knew that God wanted me back at school, but I did not want them to become a faint memory to me.  The last time I saw them, I gave them all big hugs.  As I was hugging them, I realized that this was symbolic of letting go.  Once I let go of them, I had to own up to the responsibilities that God has given me at college.  Instead of seeing them everyday, I would have to hope to catch them on Facebook or send them a text message here and there.  It was definitely difficult for me to go home that night.

Now that I am back at school, I am so glad that I let go.  I have amazing friends here that love me and that allow me to be myself in front of them.  I let all my friends go back home in the beginning of the summer, but seeing them again, I knew that letting go was worth it.  We all have amazing testimonies of how God healed us this summer.  If we had stayed at school, we would have grown stagnant and bored.

What is God calling you to let go of today?  Whether it is a relationship, a desire, a job, or an opportunity, God knows what is best for you.  Things in this world fade away, but God is consistent and constant.  In Hebrews, Paul writes that we are to cling to the confession of our hope. We are to cling to God's truth and to His presence instead of seeking after the things of this world.  If you notice things that are starting to grow stagnant in your life, it is time to move on.  Trust that God will continue to allow you to grow.  He is holding your rope; all you need to do is let go and fall into His protection for you.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

The Desires of Your Heart

Take delight in the Lord,
    and he will give you the desires of your heart.-Psalm 37:4, NIV

But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides.-Matthew 6:33, AMP

Did you ever wonder if you were completely following God's plan?  Being a college student, I see people constantly asking themselves if God actually wanted them to major in such and such.  Students change their major numerous times to find that perfect plan that God has for them.  Although it is great to seek God's counsel in your life, while considering what God wanted you to do with your life, did you ever consider what you wanted to do with your life?

For the past two days, God has been waking me up with the desire to study Psalm 37:4.  The first time that God woke me up with this verse, I had a dream that I was talking to one of my friends about the calling on his life.  He was really worried that he had chosen a major in college because it was what he wanted to do, not what God wanted him to do.  He felt that he had wasted his time in college studying at an expensive school instead of pursuing a degree at a Bible college or seminary.  In my dream, I was telling him that God gives us the desires of our hearts.  Although God has a plan for us, He gives us interests and uses those interests in His plan.  

I have mentioned before that I am studying TESOL in a small missionary college.  Before I started going to this school, I had wanted to be a writer.  I had a passion for writing.  Writing was what I wanted to share with the world; I wanted to write books that children would enjoy.  I loved reading, and I wanted to give children something to read so that they could be entertained just like I was by books. Although I had felt that writing was in my future, when I went on my first missions trip, I felt God calling me to be a missionary.  As a result of this call, I completely threw away my desire to be a writer.

Over time, I realized that I still loved writing.  During my first semester at college, my friends would constantly complain about writing papers.  I could not relate; even if it was a research paper about the long history of the Baptist church, I loved getting my ideas written out in words.  I had no problems helping my friends write their papers for classes.  

When I transferred to my current school, I learned that many missionaries are now pursuing a degree in teaching English abroad.  When I first heard of TESOL, I ran from it.  I had stuffed my desires deep into my heart, hoping never to have them touched again.  God had given me the desire to be a missionary, and that should supersede my desire to be a writer.  That semester, I was required to take a class about starting a transforming spiritual journey with God.  My professor confessed that he had liked art as a kid, but he had suppressed his love for arts.  Later in life, he had explained, God had told him to start writing, singing, playing music, and painting again.  God had given him the desires of his heart; He had given him the desire to creatively express himself and share his emotions with the world.  When my professor said that to us, it spoke to me.  God asked me "Why are you hiding your love for writing?  I gave you that love."  I did not want to start writing yet.  I wrestled with what God was saying to me for about a year.  As I have posted before, after starting a job at the Writing Center, I realized that I could use my love for writing to help students who did not like writing.  I could still use my ideas to inspire others to have a voice.  Nothing made me happier than knowing that I could please God and still enjoy life.  

The second time God woke me up with Psalm 37:4, I was wondering when my husband was going to come into my life.  About two months ago, I broke off a relationship that I had had with my boyfriend for two years.  We are friends now, but I feel that God wants me to wait before I go back into another relationship.  God has taught me that being in a relationship takes time and energy that I do not have as a college student.  However, the yearnings for a husband are still there.  

During my quiet time, I desired to know the meaning of the verse.  I looked in my study Bible for answers, but it had almost nothing to say about Psalm 37:4.  Finally, I asked the Holy Spirit to bring light to the words I was reading.  As I started saying the words to the verse out loud, I thought of Matthew 6:33: "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."  These words from Jesus are like the New Testament version of Psalm 37:4: "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart."  As I started thinking of this, I felt the sense that desires are not wrong.  To act on that desire and choosing to ignore God's plan for me right now would be a sin, but the hope that I will be married in the future is not a sin.

It amazes me that something could be a sin just because it is not what God has for you at that time.  It is simply showing love if you have sex with your spouse, but it is sexual immorality if you have sex with a stranger.  Abraham had sinned against God when he had a child with Sarah's servant instead of waiting on God's time.  Having Ishmael was a sin against God, but having Isaac was believing in God's promise.  What was the difference? With Ishmael, Abraham and Sarah had grown impatient and had taken matters into their own hands.  With Isaac, Abraham and Sarah had waited on God and believed in the miracle that He could bring forth through a nearly barren woman.  

As Jesus said, we need to seek first God's interests.  Your love for God should shine in everything you do.  Obviously, because of your sinful nature, you have desires that go against God's will for your life.  However, by surrendering your desires to God, you can discover that the wants that you have actually stem from a necessity to know God more.  Instead of praying for that perfect man or woman to come into your life, acknowledge your desire to be loved and to show love to someone else in return, and be encouraged that the Creator of the universe loves you enough to listen to your prayers and to forgive you.  

After I meditated on my desire for a husband, I gave it over to God.  I declared that, even if I did not get a husband, I would still serve Him and honor Him in everything that I did.  When I meet someone, I proclaimed to God, I would love him with God's love and I would honor God in our relationship.  Later that day, I went to my church and I saw two couples that are truly in love with each other.  Instead of being grouchy and asking God where my Prince Charming was, I stopped and admired what these two couples had.  I had hope that, if God had someone for me, we would love each other like the members of these couples did.  Instead of lusting for a husband to come into my life immediately, I had hope for the future.  I had hope that God had given me the desire to love someone unconditionally, and that in the future I will have the opportunity to do so.

Think about the desires you have and surrender them to God.  You do not have to stop doing what you love, but you do have to let God take control of those desires.  God knows that you want things for the future, and He loves you.  In His timing, if you put Him first in everything you do, He will give you more than anything you could ever imagine having on your own.

Thursday, July 26, 2012

A Can of Soda


Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.-James 1:17, NIV

May blessing (praise, laudation, and eulogy) be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah) Who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual (given by the Holy Spirit) blessing in the heavenly realm!-Ephesians 1:3, AMP

Let’s say that God gave you a small can of Coke, which just happens to be your favorite soda.  Would you be happy that it He gave you something so special, or would you complain that you did not get a big bottle of it?  If your best friend got an ice cream float from God, would that change your perspective of your gift?
God gives us gifts on a daily basis.  Whether it is a healthy social life—friends that will always be there for you and will help you grow—or a job that allows you to pay off your accumulating bills, God knows what gifts to give you for whatever situation you are facing.  He knows exactly what to give us based on our needs!
There are people out there who struggle with being content what they have.  There are things in my life for which I am grateful, such as my relationship status, my house, and my group of friends.  However, I also wonder why God did not bless me when I asked for a summer job or healing from the digestive issues that I have.  Instead of focusing on the fact that he answered my prayer for true godly friends, I worried about how I was going to pay for college.  I would enviously look at people who had successful jobs and little bills to pay, wondering why God blessed them and not me.
I know I talk a lot about being content with where God has you right now, but it is something that we always forget, especially in an age that expects and demands instant results.  For example, you may want to get married and have a family later in life, but the world expects you to sell yourself short and find someone now.  It is even harder to wait when your friends are all getting married, and your family members are asking when you are going to find that special someone.  God has a plan for you right now, and even if it does not directly relate to what you want to do in the future, it will help you grow in ways that you would never expect. 
One of my favorite parables in the Bible is the story of the workers in the vineyard.  A landowner hired people to work on his vineyard.  He promised to give them a denarius for the work that they were going to do; the workers happily agreed.  Throughout the day, more people asked for work, and the owner of the vineyard agreed to pay them as well.  At the end of the day, all the workers lined up to receive their money.  The landowner gave the people who had only worked for part of the day a denarius.  The workers who had worked all day excitedly approached the landowner for their pay, knowing that they deserved more money than the people who had worked a short period of time.  They expected to get much more, because they had done more work.  However, the landowner gave them all a denarius.  Those who had worked all day grumbled against the landowner; they told him that he was being unfair (Matthew 20:1-11).
“I am not being unfair to you, friend,” The landowner replied. “Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the one who was hired last the same as I gave you.  Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?” (Matthew 20:13-15, NIV).  God says this to us today.  He promises to give us what we need.  We are content because we are getting something special.  However, when someone else comes along and gets the same gift—or worse, a better gift—we begin to grumble against God.  We quickly forget that God, the creator of the universe, the giver of life, the one who has the power to do anything, loves us so much that He has a plan for us and He intends to do anything and everything He can to give us the best.
For years, I was not content with my life.  I constantly wanted a boyfriend, and I would do anything and everything I could to make my crush like me.  When I would see my friends with their boyfriends I would wish that I had someone like that.  I missed the fact that God had given me great guy friends to enjoy.  I had spent so much time trying to make them my boyfriends that I did not take the time to appreciate how much they cared for me as friends. 
I have been learning that God’s bottle of soda for me is godly men who can be my friends.  I have gotten sick of dating (or trying to date) every nice guy that ever came into my life.  Now, I am enjoying my friends and not expecting anything more or anything less from them.  We have the time of our lives watching movies, going out, and having fun.  I am learning a lot about who I am in Christ and how to interact with others through these wonderful friends.  If God decides to bless me with a boyfriend later, I would be fine with that.  It will be what God has for me.  I am excited to accept any gift that the creator of the universe, the giver of life, the lover of my soul, has to offer me.
What is your bottle of soda?  Whatever God has for you, follow it with all of your heart.  Although you want a girlfriend, God might be calling you to be a friend to a group of girls that needs to know that they are loved.  Despite the fact that you want a well-paying job, God might decide to bless you financially in other ways.  Examine the gifts that God has given you, and be content with the fact that they are gifts from the one who can understand infinity! 

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Don't Look in the Mirror

“But a house made of mirrors never helped you see any clearer; it’s yourself you can’t see past.”—Tenth Avenue North, “House of Mirrors”
Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.—Philippians 4:12-14, ESV
God speaks to me through the form of visions.  When God first started using this way to speak to me, I would only get visions at my school.  One weekend, I went back to my home and went to my church.  My church is a non-denominational Christian church, but it started as a Baptist church.  Although I love my church’s worship, people, and messages, I was wondering if God was going to give me a vision in a conservative church such as mine.  Right after worship, the congregation members bowed their heads in prayer.  When I closed my eyes, I saw Jesus standing next to a mirror.  I really wanted to look at the mirror, but Jesus had His back to it.  As I was looking, I heard a voice say “This is not you.  Don’t look in the mirror.”  When I looked at the reflection, I saw an enormous, disgusting hairy rat. 

I opened my eyes, slightly confused.  Usually I am able to discern exactly God is trying to say to me through a vision.  However, that one had me stumped.  Our pastor’s sermon was about Philippians 3:12-14, which talks about how to live forward. He told this story about a racecar driver that once ripped the rearview mirror off his car.  The driver had said “What’s behind me doesn’t matter.”  It seemed like my pastor looked right at me when he said: “You don’t have to keep looking in the mirror, because all you will see is you and your past.  Satan wants you to look in.  Throw out the rearview mirror.”  For the first time in my life, a vision lined up with what I heard in a sermon. 

This message from God came to me on October 16, 2011, almost a whole year ago.  Lately, I have been haunted by my past.  God has blessed me with some awesome friends, both at school and at home.  However, being at home has reminded me of what I went through before I became a Christian.  I have been hurt by friends, lovers, family members, and the like, and I have been so afraid that my new friends were going to hurt me in the same way that those in my past had.  I feel like a failure, I feel so weak, when someone or something reminds me of something that happened in the past.  For my entire life, I have thought of myself as a victim because I allowed my past to happen.  No one was there to help me, and so to me it seemed like it was entirely my fault that I had a stepfather that verbally abused me, and that every crush I ever had ended in pain.  I felt like I was weak because I could not say no when a guy took advantage of me physically, nearly causing me to lose my virginity.  Even though I am a Christian now, I have still recently had these feelings.  However, while singing songs such as “God is Able” by Hillsong or “A Mighty Fortress” by Christy Nockels, I stuffed the feelings of failure, weakness, and doubt down deep in my heart. 

After asking people to pray for me, I realized that I did not fully believe that my past is in the grave.  I make mistakes everyday; how could I possibly be a new creation in Christ?  How could God tell me that my past is behind me when the guy who sexually harassed me lives right down the block from me, my ex-stepfather still gets mail sent to the house, and my mother still brings up things that I did several years ago? 

Yesterday, I just sat in my room and prayed the entire day.  I asked God to help me see past the hurtful things that happened to me and the hurtful things I did to others before He had made me a new creation.  I had Tenth Avenue North’s CD, The Light Meets the Dark, playing on repeat.  Every single one of those songs spoke to my heart.  The one that really struck a chord with me was the song “House of Mirrors.”  It basically describes the vision that I had on October 16 at my church.  My tendency is to look in the mirror and see my past, my hurts, my failures, and my pain.  However, Jesus was standing there, telling me to look at Him. 

So, instead of looking at myself as the victim of my past, I decided to change my perspective.  Jesus was there with me, protecting me, looking out for me.  My stepfather hurt me by having unstable emotions and by calling me names, but he is gone now.  When I did not have hope, Jesus was there with me. Before I even knew who He was, God was guiding me and promising me that my future is set in Him.  A boy held me up against a wall and kissed me more than I would like, but he was not able to take my virginity from me.  When I was weak, Jesus was there with me.  Before I started walking in my identity as a new creation in Christ, God was protecting me and allowing me to see that even when I make stupid mistakes, He is ever faithful to come to my rescue.  Although the twenty crushes that I had throughout my life did not end in success, God was protecting me from getting hurt emotionally by people who could never love me like He does.  My view of myself as a victim quickly turned into a story of God's victory in my life.

When Paul writes to the Philippians, he makes it clear that he is not perfect. He had still struggled with sin, because he was still human. He had not yet attained the resurrected body that Jesus had died for him to have (see v. 11). However, he made a conscious decision to forget what is behind him and press on toward the promises that God had made for him through Christ (v. 13). Let me repeat: Paul was not perfect, even after he decided to dedicate his life to Christ. Although he still struggled with sin, he chose not to look at the mirror and see his own reflection. He chose to look beyond the failures that he had in the past, the legalism that he clung to when he was a Pharisee.

Are you living like your past is dead and in the grave, or are you still staring in the mirror?  Your identity in Christ is not defined by what happened to you in the past.  You may have been a guy who took advantage of women by sweet talking them, but you are not anymore.  You may have been a girl who ran away from home to escape the drama that she had at home, but you are not anymore.  You may have had thoughts of suicide, traumatic near-death experiences, eating disorders, or broken relationships, but those do not define you.    If you want to see you the way that God sees you, you should look at Christ.  Second Corinthians 5:21 says that because of Jesus’ sacrifice, we are the righteousness of God.  When God sees us, He does not see our past; He sees His Son, Jesus.  Throw your mirror out; you have already been set free!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

What are you doing?

"What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God." ~Eleanor Powell

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.-Ephesians 5:15&16, ESV

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.”-James 4:13-15, ESV

My friends and I have this inside joke that started from a funny, you-just-had-to-be-there situation (as most inside jokes do).  We always get a chuckle from the group when one person asks the question "What are you doing?"  Whenever someone asks that question, typically someone else would respond--intentionally or unintentionally--with a completely strange and unexpected remark.  Even though we typically say it as a joke to each other, I want to challenge you with this question: "What are YOU doing?"

I used to get so frustrated when I would hear people telling me "You only have one life to live. Make the most of it."  Once I got out of high school, every song I heard screamed: "You're wasting your life! Stop being idle and live for God!"  I used to get anxious and tense as I struggled to figure out what God wanted me to do with my life.  Waiting was not an option.  I wanted a boyfriend so I could think about marriage and raising a family.  I wanted money so I could easily pay for college and start saving for a house.  I wanted clarification of what I should do as a career so I could pick the right major in college.  Any day I did not have plans, I would sit and cry.  "That's one more minute that I'll never get back," I would sulk, knowing that time is a gift from God and I was not using it properly.  Or so I thought.

Lately I have learned to slow down a bit.  This summer has definitely taught me that using time does not mean constantly doing chores, activities, and plans.  It could also mean resting, meditating, and spending time reading God's Word.  The Sabbath was one of the Ten Commandments; that means that He used to require the Israelites to rest.  Rest and relaxation are also gifts from God; although you are not producing tangible results by sitting down and meditating, you are making time for God by listening to what He has to say to you. 
So what does this mean, then?  What do we do with verses like Ephesians 5:15&16, which says to use your time wisely and make the most of every opportunity?  Looking at the whole of Ephesians 5, Paul is not talking about working like the Energizer Bunny for God.  He is talking about staying pure and living a life that does not reflect a sinful nature.  He does not want us going out and imitating the unwise; he wants us to be imitators of God (5:1). 

I believe that the simplest way to make the most of every opportunity is to be content with where God has placed you already.  We are always looking for more opportunities to serve Him.  Those of us in college say, "Once I graduate, I'm going to get married" or "I can't wait until I graduate so I can take what I learn to the real world."  Those of us who do not have a clue what we are doing with our lives say, "God, give me an opportunity to serve you" or "I'm just wasting my life sitting here on my chair."  Personally, I am studying to be a missionary, and I keep telling myself "When I go on a missions trip, I'll do this" or "I can't wait to graduate so I can finally be a missionary."  But God is calling me to be a missionary right now.  And God is calling you to something right now.

We always have these plans for our future.  I personally have had a laundry list of things that I am going to do at certain times in my life.  When I was five, I wanted to be a writer.  As I got older, I made an exact plan of what I was going to do: I was going to go to Brown University in Rhode Island and get a major in English and a minor in Creative Writing, with Journalism on the side.  I was going to work as an editor of a newspaper company and write books.  I was going to find my husband in college and get married right after I graduated.  Then we would spend two years traveling the world, and then we would come back to America and settle down.  Several years later, I am studying to be a missionary English teacher at a small private school in New York, I have not found my husband yet, and I am starting to travel the world while in college!  God has changed my life around so much, and yet I still want to plan my future as if I know exactly what is going to happen.

As it says in James 4:14, no one knows what is going to happen to us in the future.  The only thing we are truly sure of is the present.  What is your current situation?  Are you fresh out of college, looking for a job?  Are you in college, wondering if you made the right decision to switch your major?  Did you just graduate high school, and you feel like your life is going in a million different directions?  Rejoice in whatever state you are in RIGHT NOW.  You may be wishing you had a boyfriend but maybe this is God's time for you to grow independent.  You may want to know your career path but God wants to show you your identity in Christ.  Our current situation gives us hope for the future, but we cannot act like the future is the only thing that matters.

I read a story somewhere a while ago.  I am sorry that I cannot give credit to whoever wrote it, because it doesn't pop up right away on Google.  This is not my own story, but it is a convicting one.  The story says that a man asked God what He thinks about humanity.  God replied that they are always wishing for something but never being satisfied with what they already have.  Kids spend their childhood wishing they were older, and when they grow up, they wish they could go back to being children.  People wish their whole lives away, without realizing that what they ask for is usually right in front of them.

My challenge to you is to appreciate what you have right now.  Thank God for what you have; do not ask Him for what you hope to have in the future.  Here are some verses of things you have already; I encourage you to look them up on your own.  When God's timing is right, He will begin to reveal to you your future.  Until then, be content with what you have today.

Ephesians 2:6
Ephesians 1:5
Romans 8:15
2 Timothy 1:7
2 Peter 1:3-4
Ephesians 6:10-18
Romans 6:4
Romans 5:1-2